Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Life is a balance

There is always a medium, a middle ground, a counterweight or practically a balance from everything we do, see or even feel. From the most basic, obvious qualities of life to the most obscure insecurities we posses. There's always that balance in life that tends to correct itself. Seasons are the land's balance between too hot and too cold. I feel we sometimes don't understand how perfect our world sometimes is, sure we as a population hurt the earth more than we should but the earth seems to be catching up and adapting in certain ways. There is an article listed by the NY Times by David Biello titled "We aren't destroying the Earth" where he talks about how nature is more complicated than we think, more species arise faster then old ones extinct. We fail to understand how nature is rapidly developing, we focus too much on the history of certain species that we fail to see the new biodiversity that blossoms from the surprisingly hotter atmosphere, such as new plant life.

There's more balance to life than we see or realize. Darkness and light; hot temperatures and cold ones; young and old. These are some of the most basic ones, but we can also mention a more philosophical approach. When we are at our lowest in life, depressed, nowhere to go, homeless, lost someone, lost a job etc. whatever it may be that puts you at our very lowest, that's when life corrects itself. You somehow end up bouncing back up most of the time, sort of like a rollercoaster: it goes all the way down but always manages to ride back up again. Life is truly a rollercoaster. You hop into life, it has it's ups and downs, some more violent than others, but eventually, it comes to an end. I've noticed a trend, for a lack of a better word, that when someone close passes away, somehow new life always follows shortly after. Sort of as if the amount of life balances out in the family. Although very subjective, it also seems to apply when people leave certain relationships in their life, people always find others. A balance.

Now is correction a balance? Who is to say one extreme is not normal? That is the beauty of life, it's sustainable. Our body is also a balance, for as much physical activity we do, our body also requires sleep to re-energize and rebalance our mind. Our body heals when it is cut. When it is cold, our body tends to retain more body heat in our core and vice-versa, we require rehydration when we release too many fluids. Maybe it is not a correction but a form of replenishment of life, a restoration.

The happiest people tend to be the most depressed people. Once our body, mind or soul go through one extreme of reality it's also likely to visit the other extreme in the spectrum. Wether in wealth, lifestyles, health etc anything that can experience extreme joy or extreme sadness. We have to learn to appreciate the balance of good and bad, we have to understand that perhaps nothing is truly good nor bad but two different extreme lifestyles that make people unaccepting of others. Such as a person deep into their religious or cultural roots vs someone who spends all day practicing their screeches for a metal band. They might not understand each other but there is always a middle ground to cope with one another. That's why there is debates, wars, arguments, even deaths, all because we don't want to see eye to eye. Not accepting different perspectives or ways of life, we are stubborn to think that there is only OUR way to live or thrive. But whether we see it or not, the other side of the spectrum is always present, maybe not in the visible present that we live in, but out there.

Let me know what you think on this topic of overall balance in the comments below. On a side note, I recommend watching "one strange rock" hosted by will smith on netflix.

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

El Paso Massacre

August 3rd, 2019. Around early 10:00 am at El Paso, Texas. I worked early that day until 3:00 PM. I received the news from friends first. At first, it seemed it was a lousy joke but no. Terror actually hit. "Active shooter at Cielo Vista Mall". The message turned my blood upside down. Around 10:20 am, the news got worse. There were multiple rumors that there were multiple shooters attacking several different malls. This is when we all got worried.

Rumors everywhere, texts being sent out, calls being made. Social media being part of the problem, spreading incorrect information causing chaos and ultimately panic. 3 shooters are out and about, unconfirmed reports of shootings in the area. 10 people dead. 15, 17, 18 dead. "Area is still active" is what was reported by the Police department. That lasted for hours until around 2 PM.

I called my mom and asked her where she was, and informed her that there was an active shooter near our house. She confirmed she was inside ordering her Herbalife shake/tea. I asked her where my sister was, and she replied she was at work (in the far east, far from where it took place). I then asked about her boyfriend since I knew he was staying with us for a couple of days. He confirmed he was ok.

My work suddenly got more intense. We closed the front gate halfway for pre-caution, but we were still open at the time. Videos and images spread online. It drowned all social media outlets, at this point the incident had gone national. And everyone, everywhere in North America knew about what had just occurred. At this point, horror was still spreading since there was no confirmation that the suspect was caught or how many there were. The time was 11:30 am. People in my workplace were listening to the videos that people had spread online. Those videos were real. Gory, bloody, fear, gunshots, screaming, those videos were too much to even listen to, it actually made emotional just thinking about my own family being in that wal-mart. I then made my way to the back area (at work) to recover myself. Stupid messages were being spread that mentioned "my brother's uncle is in the FBI.....and that the attack was affiliated with gang activity.....which may be part of a re-occuring event.....etc.LIES, ALL OF THEM. I know we, as people that live in this town want to be careful, but COME ON! The first couple of people that started it must have just sent it to spread panic. All you saw on facebook/insta/messages was "Not sure if real but just in case"....If it's not reliable, why post it? I guess out of precaution and fear to stay away from commercial centers.

The Cielo Vista mall and Bassett Center malls were quickly evacuated, some stores stayed locked inside (with customers) for hours until they got the word that it was safe. Policemen and Army affiliates were running down the mall with the big guns, literally marking the stores with a black marker "Cleared P.D" on the stores' windows. Back at work, we all turned on the news to know what exactly was happening. But the worst part was that nobody knew what was happening. Nobody wanted to confirm anything. Random official reports were coming in, which worsened the situation. Not until 1/2 PM we started to see the shooter's face from the store cam. The image was later confirmed to be true. As well as his capture later on. The arrest was made on the intersection I used on the daily. Where I turn to go home, go to work, see friends, buy food and even go to walmart. The Viscount/Sunmount intersection. The image caused some controversy since it seemed the capture was TOO peaceful for a massacre of him harming 46+ people.

Hours after the event, people (by the masses) lined up for blood donations. Even in our sister city Las Cruces, NM. So many people had gone to the blood drives that people had to be turned away. People wanted to help so bad, and everybody could feel the love, giving water, food ANYTHING to see those that were damaged getting the help they needed.

The balcony from my house could see the aftermath still, Police everywhere and people visiting the area (since they set up a mourning site for them right before an intersection before entering walmart). The following nighr, people gathered at a nearby park to mourn and remember, to recollect what had happened.
Days have passed, today is August 14th, our city is still greatly affected by what had happened. Someone from out of town, driving hours from Allen, TX to cause major harm. Beautiful things has happened since. People are coming together to mourn. Lady gaga got involved to fund our people, Khalid is returning to have a benefit show as well as local places by local bands contributing for the families affected. Personally, my band, had a show on August 9th and we were able to raise ($600+) (and depending on how much the bar gave extra). We personally received the 600 dollar check only to turn it in COMPLETELY. All of us felt great about that. To this day the walmart is still closed and just a couple days ago they started letting people pick up their cars from the lot. They had fenced the scene completely where the parking lot is.

To this day people are scared, shook. Going around the malls recently, there are definitely fewer people than normal. People have lost trust. Others unaffected but the majority still psychologically damaged still. You can't simply forget. I heard a comment the other day by a little girl that had said "I'm still scared of being in a place like this", they were at the mall in the westside of the city. When the news broke, national news had gotten misinformed and thought the shooter was at the Cielo Vista mall when in fact, nothing had occurred there. That day my little sister and mom were going to head to walmart AT THAT SPECIFIC TIME, even had a friend that was supposed to buy packs of water in the morning as well. They both had plan changes and did not end up going to walmart that morning. But to think my family and friends dying is an unthinkable thought. El Paso is still safe. El Paso people are still here, we are strong defintely

22 people dead, 24 injured. Our president visited. Controversy surrounded that.

A massacre.

In my own backyard.

I'm ultimately still shook.

But not scared anymore.

Saturday, August 3, 2019


The right way to do something is subjective is it not? If someone has been doing a certain procedure for a long period of time, why does it become normalized for everybody?  Nobody dares to question the status quo. Nobody wants to come first to challenge an elder or a system of old ideas. Say you did dare to speak up, but you are instantly shut down by the majority, do you dare to give it a second try or does it ultimately become the system's fault at that point. If the standards work why challenge it? Effectivity could increase, the speed could increase, productivity overall changes for the better.

People are stuck in their comfort zone. No change, no range, no exchange or ways to arrange paths to be free or explore different areas of interest/ideas. We have to rewire our brain to think differently, to be different, to be out there. Not necessarily about commitment or consistency but about becoming someone unafraid of change, unafraid of life standards or transitions. 

Talking about standards, we can all agree that most people drive automatic cars. Now the standard for standard cars was the status quo. Someone out there challenged how standard vehicles worked/functioned (quick research: 1932 two Brazillian engineers that called it: Hydro-Matic engine) These folks perfected the idea of a clutch-less transmission, an idea that was already presented and miserably failed because of the abruptness of gear changes, models that were presented in the earlier 1900s. These ideas were quickly shut down. People had already challenged the standard. And it took decades for auto manufacturers to accept the other idea. Why did the standard not changed then, lack of technology? fear? distrustfulness of people who had presented failed ideas? A new standard for the standard vehicles was introduced to a standard that became automatic which is ironic because standard vehicles were once the standard but now are not. Wow, that is a mouthful. 

I think there are standards everywhere, in beauty, in education, in socialism, in our homes. Don't get me wrong maybe some standards are good, washing your hands before going to the restroom is not as effective as washing after. But there are some standards that seem unnecessary, companies sell you beauty but why do their perspective on beauty seem selective? Perhaps it is because it sells, as we all know sex sells. Proven to be a fact, in terms of business aspects. But is the society the one that is controlling the media or is the standard of businessmen and companies the ones enforcing the same ideals to the masses over and over again? us or them? The one in power holds the key to change. But also the people have the power to dethrone those in power, able to de-collapse their systems. But that takes many collective minds to drive a force to do something as powerful. 

Maybe standards are meant to be challenged at their respective time and place. Things are meant to be a certain way until their expiration or renovation comes in. Social standards are probably the hardest ones to overcome, we're too afraid of making eye contact or too afraid to be the first to speak up sometimes. Let's change that, let's be the first to break free from norms, be the first to challenge the way things work, to introduce ourselves.

Maybe standards are there to keep us in check, whether for safety or because it is truly the only way. If we all see something new the same way for a long time, does it transform to a standard? That's a possibility.

I've officially concluded, by my own state of mind, that standards are here to keep society in order. To keep the balance within the many clashing forces of the world: politics, different country, religions, cultures, social manners, habits, etc. Chaos occurs without systems, without established routes, without standards. But this does not mean we should keep the balance all the time.

Chaos Theory: A small change introduced in a system, in this case, a standard. That ultimately cause a huge difference in outcome after a long time. The effect can be positive or negative, I believe, and creates similar patterns that change over time sometimes unnoticed. Also called the butterfly effect, it seems like, even though the long-lasting change occurs, it seems it always corrects itself in the end. It balances out. It could be nature, it could be the way our world works, it could higher forcers working for us, but it always normalizes no matter how big of a change it is. Normal = the norm = standards = the way things are. Or seem to look like at the moment.

I have many thoughts. Just wanted to lay them all down, probably confusing as hell, but I guess that's how my head works. A big disorder of thoughts. Very random at times. I don't know how to end this pile of thoughts so yea that's it.




nothing here.

Wait if there is nothing is there anything? If there's nothing is there standards since there's no one? If only one person does something different is it never considered a standard?





Standards belong to the masses.



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